One of Those Days

This afternoon, while I was preparing lunch in the kitchen, J came to me, with a sad face. He pulled my hand. I was washing the rice, half-way. I asked him what I can do for him. He ran out of the kitchen, crying. I immediately stopped what I was doing. And went to him.

I had him sat on my lap so that I could hug him. He was still crying. As I was hugging him, I told him, "I am here. Let me know when you are better."

He cried for a good 20 minutes. Then he said, "I am better."

I still continued to hug him. After 10 minutes have passed. I asked him if he was ready to tell me why he was upset. When he heard this, he continued to cry, for another 15 minutes.

Meltdown

Then he said, "I am better."

I decided not to probe further. I continued hugging him until he smiled at me.

I prepared my lunch. Both of us have our lunch. Then 1 hour later, I asked him why he was upset and cried just now. He said he was upset because he slept on the bed. But i saw him laid on the floor.

In fact, I knew I will not be able to get an answer from him because this requires lots of brain processing power and expressive language, which is still his weakness. But at least he still can label his emotions - whether he is happy, sad or angry.

This is one of those days when J would have meltdowns and we never get to know why. On some days we do know why, if it is a change in some routines or sensory issues beforehand. However, if the meltdown is related to him thinking back some past events that made him sad. That will require detective work.

Through the many years of meltdowns I have experienced with him, I have learnt that the most effective way is when a meltdown occurs, not to keep asking why or even mentioned how much I understand how he felt because that triggers more crying and hence, would prolong the length of meltdowns. But rather, give him a tight hug. Let him know I am here and let me know when he is better. Any post-mortem is to only be done, perhaps few minutes or an hour or two hours after he mentioned that he is better. Sometimes, it might just trigger that sadness and cry again.

Of course, each child is different. Just do what works best for the child but the gist of it is to only ask what happened when he is in a good mood.

I felt, in this way, we respect the child and most importantly, gives the child the time to manage his overwhelming emotions. Even if the child, just like J, is unable to express what causes his emotions, just be there for him and give him a shoulder to cry on and lent him a listening ear.

Lastly, and most importantly, pray with the child. Put his emotions and burdens onto the feet of Jesus. No problem is too big that God cannot solve.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. - Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Evaluation Meeting

On 12th May 2017, we had our second bi-weekly Evaluation Meeting since we started our Son-Rise Program, but it was a first with all our volunteers (as there were 2 volunteers who joined a few weeks later after the first volunteer).

Evaluation Form

We had a wonderful session reviewing and discussing how we can help our little friend. As each of us recalled back the times we had in the playroom, we were laughing especially when we talked about the repetitious activities that J had.

I saw the benefits of having this meeting so that we can all align our beliefs and goals. While we are all working in the playroom individually at different times, this meeting helped to bring in the consistency. As each of us share our different experiences, we are also learning from one another.

My team of volunteers

Certificate of Achievement in Pasting, Folding, Colouring & Cutting

Finally, after a year, we have completed the basic series of Pasting, Folding, Colouring and Cutting. I remembered the first time when we started, J could not control and hold the scissors properly. He could not hold a crayon well. Folding was an issue too.

I could still remember how I guided him step-by-step. Most peers his age, would have been able to hold and control the scissors or even able to colour with colour pencils or for some, even able to write. When I looked back the past 1 year, I could feel that J and I have come a long, long way.

J was doing pasting work

Though there are still more rooms for improvement, J could at least now cut a straight line, hold a crayon to colour and apply some strength when folding the paper. Even when he paste materials, he would at least look out for the sides and try to paste it within the boundary. These are, to me, great achievements. These skills may look insignificant for J's age, who will be turning 5 next month, because most peers his age, would have acquired most of these skills. However, to me, these are little milestones that is worth celebrating.

Today, Daddy presented J with the attached Certificate of
Achievement which is at the back of the book

The most important thing is, J enjoys doing these sit-down work. Of course, I do ensure that he is in Green Light before he does these sit-down work. This explains why even though there are only 39 worksheets, we took a year (365 days) to complete. Because we don't do these everyday and we definitely don't touch these when he is in Red Light. Even when he is in Green Light, most of the time, we do paintings, baking or any pre-writing activities such as playing with pegs, tongs, playdoh, etc. Sit-down work would be of less priority.