My gifts for J

As a mother, I have hopes and dreams for J when I first met him in Jun 2012. However, all these hopes and dreams became a question mark after I knew of his condition. As I was praying, these 5 goals for J, came to mind. In fact, these 5 goals are my precious and greatest gifts, that I can give to J, as a mum.

1. Honour and Love God With All His Heart, Mind and Soul

I remembered when I first introduced J to ABC and 123 in Jun 2015,  he was not interested at all. He was 3 years old, which I thought he might be ready. After all, he loved the ABC and numbers song. But that was that. His only interest was lift. When we were out, I would point to him some interesting things like animals, plants, toys, etc. He totally ignored me. The only time when he would not ignore me was when I brought him to see lift. I started to panic because it means his mind is only on lifts and nothing else. He seemed that he blocked out all other knowledge.

And then I started to pray. And God reminded me that he created J. God reminded me that despite him blocking out all other knowledge, there was still the "Devotion to God" time that J was receptive. I was called by God to do this devotion time with J when J was only 1 year old! And when I started to do this devotion time with him, I hadn't known of J's condition! How amazing God was! So God reminded me "Why had I focus on his academics?" I then realise I do not have to focus on academics for J but to guide him to honour and love God with all his heart, mind and soul.

The Bible says:
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" - Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

And with this gentle reminder from God, I set that as my goal and I felt much happier. I don't feel stressed out. I do not have to fear because God is with me.

And when I teach J to honour,  love and pursue God and when God is in the centre of his life, HE will help build J's character as well, which is the 2nd point.

2. Character Building and Moral Values

The Lord revealed to me that character building is much more important than any academics. It takes a whole life to build a Christ-like godly character but it takes just weeks or at most, months, to understand a topic. And where can I teach and impart these values? The Bible!

Character is often defined as a collection of personality traits within our behavior that shows who we are. This is shown in our integrity, attitude, moral fiber, disposition, and this shapes how we treat one another, good or bad. This is mostly true, but it goes much deeper than that. Character is who we are and it can be learnt and built when we are in Christ. Moreover, a true Christ-like godly character is not just a personality or our disposition; it is a description of who we are as a Christian, what we are called to be in our entirety. It encapsulates the Fruit of the Spirit from God's love and work in us.

The Bible says:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

It does not matter if the child is special needs because the Bible is for all. The Fruit of the Spirit is for all. When the Bible says Train up a child in the way he should go in Proverbs 22:6, God did not specify to train up just neuro-typical child. Neither did God mentioned to train just special needs child. Child refers to all children, whether neuro-typical or special needs. Likewise, the Fruit of the Spirit is for all humans.

The role that we play as parents is to teach and impart these characters and values to J, starting from the Fruit of the Spirit and God being the centre of our lives. This is definitely much more important than academics. And it takes a lifetime to build.

3. To be Independent and Able to Take Care of Himself

Before I knew of J's condition, I had always adopted the Montessori Method for J because one of the belief is to instil independence for the child. After I knew of J's condition, I was glad I applied the Daily Living in Montessori Method for J. Maria Montessori’s first work teaching children was actually with children who had developmental delays.
  • About a month after J was able to walk (J only started walking at 17.5 mo), I had him put his dirty clothes in a designated yellow basket after his shower.
  • He helps me to put the washed folded clothes into the right places. 
  • He folds his handkerchief.
  • He set the table before meals.
  • He cleans up after his baking.
  • He recently washes his dishes after meals.
  • He feeds the fishes.
  • He waters the plants at the corridor.
  • He applies the toothpaste, brushes his own teeth, gurgles his mouth and washes his face every morning and before he sleeps.
  • He washes his laundry (at this moment, his handkerchiefs, his underpants and his socks)
These were some of the daily living activities through household chores I did with him.

I see the importance of him, being able to take care of himself, all the more when he is in the spectrum because one day, I might not be with him. But this is one of the greatest gift, i.e. to be independent, which, as his mum, I can give to him.

4. Joy of Learning

I love to see J at work. He is very curious, persistent and love to learn new things. Wherever I am cooking, he loves to take a stool, stood himself near the sink and see me cook. And then he will apply in his pretend play for cooking.

Wherever I tell him, after his play, to do some lesson time and sit down work with him, he will be excited to start lesson with me.

I pray that his joy of learning will last him through his lifetime. Only when he is eager to learn, his knowledge will be unlimited.

5. Love for Reading

Reading helps to widen one's knowledge and horizon, which is why I hope to cultivate this skill, in J. When he loves to read, it helps to open doors to new opportunities to learn new things.

Currently, I exposed him to different types of books. We often visit the library, to borrow books. I read to him almost everyday. Reading helps in bonding. I pray one day, when he knows how to read and he has this love for reading, he will read the Bible too.

This is yet, another gift that I can give to J. In fact, all of the above 5 goals are my precious and greatest gift, that I can give to J, as a mum.

No comments:

Post a Comment