My Respite: Gardening

I never like gardening. It was by chance, in September 2016, I was feeling down so I just wanted to stay at home with J. I felt that bringing J out was extremely tiring because I not only had to tend to him but I had to guard others against him, in case, he started to hit or scratch others. He could not fully fathom people's emotions and what "pain" means and why it is inappropriate to interact with others by hitting or scratching. And no others can accept their own child being "attacked". Most parents will end up angry or upset, which is understandable and I have to keep apologising.

Autism is a social-relational disorder. But not many people can understand the impact of this disorder. And with the over-stimulation of the outside environment, that over-stimulation can put their little bodies into "freeze", "flight" or "fight" mode. For J, all these over-stimulation puts him in "fight" mode. Thus, some of the hitting/scratching/biting/kicking behaviour are due to these over-stimulation as a way "to take care of their sensory challenges". Further explanation in Autistics Logistics by Kate C. Wilde.

Anyway, I realised the beauty and joy of nurturing and witnessing the plants grow from seed to seedling to young plant to mature plant. For some species of plants, the next stage is flowers, then fruit (if there is). Each day, it grows taller and stronger until it is ready to be harvested. I also learnt that 2 basil plants, though of same family, are unique - the leaves pattern, size, shape and flowers are different. 


My Garden

As I was doing my gardening, I realise I am the keeper of these plants. God uses me to water and nurture these plants but it is still God giving these plants sunlight and air. Though I'm the gardener, I never know how these plants will grow or turn out. Together in our partnership, these plants grow taller and stronger, flourish and be harvested. And it is always with joy and excitement to see each stage and ultimately, the harvest. And I begin to enjoy each process.

Soon-to-be harvested Chye Sim

Isn't our parenting journey the same? Together in partnership with God, we nurture our little ones from baby to toddler to child to teenager to young adult to adulthood. And it is always with joy, laughter and excitement to see each stage and ultimately, filled with pride and celebrate, every of their little achievements.

It's a blessing to be able to see J doing his planting & watering of some of the plants, to be able to talk to him about one of the wonderful creation of God and to be able to hear him exclaimed, with joy and excitement, "Mummy, mummy, it's growing!"

My little helper helping to transfer the parsley plant to a bigger pot,
so that we can have more harvest.
J helped with transferring the soil & adding in new soil.

For parents who are going through the same journey as me, I encouraged you to try gardening. It is a great respite and if you do it with your child, it is a great bonding session!