God is Faithful!

Praise be to God...

"For you created her inmost being;
You knit her together in my womb.
I praise you because she is fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Her frame was not hidden from you
when she was made in the secret place,
when she was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw her unformed body; 
all the days ordained for her were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to us are your thoughts, God!"
- Psalm 139:13-17

Praise the Lord! These verses truly speaks of a beautiful and wonderful creation. These verses have been dancing and singing right in my eyes and heart since we know of her existence in my 2nd month of pregnancy.

2 weeks before Good Friday 2017, as I came out of the toilet, Hubby mentioned that the Lord put in his heart that I will be pregnant and we would least expect it. We did not quite understood what that meant and we put that aside.

Then on 15th Apr 2017, 1 day after Good Friday, after our usual morning Family Devotion, I went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. As I appeared at the kitchen entrance, Hubby suddenly mentioned that he felt the Holy Spirit convicted him that I am pregnant. It will be a girl and her name will be related to PEACE and GENTLENESS. I went to check on the pregnancy kit. It was positive but not a clear line. Then I told Hubby that I will check again the next day. Perhaps, I drank too much water. The same positive result was displayed. Indeed, I had least expected it.

And 8 months after that, on 6th Dec 2017, we finally met J2. She is God's wonderful and beautiful creation and gift.

Our newest addition in the family

God, our awesome creator, already knows and knead her in my womb, before hubby and I, who are her parents even know of her existence.

God's eyes saw her unformed body and HE even mentioned her gender and even specify what her name will be. Hallelujah! She is indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. I am in awe...

And when I was pushing during my labour, for almost 30 minutes, I was running out of strength and I prayed, "Father God, I need your strength. Helped me pushed." And after that, God just worked and 15 minutes later, I successfully pushed baby out. What a labour!

How amazing! How awesome was that!

Today is the last day of 2017. Looking back, 2017 had been a year of Renewed Hope. Renewed Hope not just having a new addition in our family but Renewed Hope in Hubby's and my spiritual walk with God. 

Following the closure of the miscarriage in end 2016 which was exactly a year ago, I had decided to leave everything to God, just focus on J and put baby planning aside. After all, just before the miscarriage episode, I had just attended the Son-Rise Program® Startup. I have decided I should focus on working on the Home Therapy with J. For baby planning, I had told God I will just leave it to HIS timing. I will not do any baby planning. I put my Ovulation kit aside.

In January 2017, God spoke and HE asked to attend Kingdom Invasion 2017 (KI 2017). I have never attended such conference even though there will be people from my church who will attend each year. It was a 4 days conference. Hubby has to take leave to look after J while I attended. Well, Hubby agreed! (He has to because I said God asked me to attend).

When I was attending KI 2017, I found a calling. God showed me all that has happened over the past 2 years - J's condition, my parenting journey with J, purpose in attending Son-Rise Program Startup, miscarriage, etc. The part when I asked God if I should attend the Son-Rise Program® Startup and he said "Go", I thought it was meant only to help me change my perspective of things, to be empowered and be equipped in helping J, but it was more than that, it was one of the plans that God has. Through KI 2017, God revealed HIS purpose and plans for me. The best part was God had told Hubby HIS plans on another occasion months before but Hubby did not reveal to me and then, God told me during KI 2017 and when we shared with each other, we were amazed. There is a purpose to every of God's plans.

And then, I was convicted to do 1 month of prayer and fasting. It was my first time doing 1 month. During the fasting, more of God's plans were revealed.

And then, I fell pregnant, without expecting it.

And then, Hubby was convicted to go on Sri Lanka mission trip. I remembered few years back before we have any children, I asked him if we should go on a mission trip. He gave me a plain "No way will I go" sort of answer. 

It is amazing how God really works and convicted man's heart.

I remembered in my closure to the miscarriage, I prayed this prayer:
"God, hold my hand, I want to trust you and partner with you, in my journey with J, in my marriage, in my walk with you, in everything I do, everything in 2017. Restore me, restore my health. Thank you God. In Jesus Name, AMEN..."

Indeed, HE never fails us. HE is faithful. HE restores. There is a purpose to all that had happened - To prepare for the future, for HIS glory. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Praise be to God!

Restrictive Behaviour and Play

One day, Hubby and I were talking at the dining table. For a moment, we did not hear anything from J. When we went over to see what he was doing, we saw what you see here below.

These numbers are all nicely sorted out

All the numbers were nicely sorted out by colours and by order.

This is actually a board game called Rummikub®. But to see him play in this manner, we find it amusing because J must have taken great efforts and concentration to get this job done. No wonder we did not hear from him for sometime!

Numbers have been one of his motivation. J is obsessed with lifts. Through lifts, he found numbers. So he loves to put them in order or arrange numbers to lift level. And because of his love for numbers through the obsession of lifts, he learnt counting, number recognition, addition, position, even and odd numbers and recently, we learnt multiplication (groups of 2 to 10) and learning to spell numbers. Amazing, isn't it? All through the motivation of his obsession. Ha!

In the recent Diagnostic Assessment, the report indicates that J requires substantial support in his restrictive and repetitive behaviours. According to the psychologist, he has the following which could somehow impaired him:

• Obsessive attachment to objects
• Preoccupation with a narrow topic of interest
• A strong need for sameness, order and routine
• Hyper-reactive or hypo-reactive to sensory input

When the Diagnosis Report was presented to us, it somehow confirms the differences J has. The sad truth is that society views Autism as a disability. True, people in the Autism Spectrum Disorder have challenges, but this is true of everyone, whether they have a disability or not.

Autism is just a word. It is a label used by medical professionals and schools to categorize people who have a certain cluster of difficulties in specific areas.

We have learnt that a diagnosis does not indicate how a child will eventually turn out. The label does not change who they are. J is fearfully and wonderfully made, by GOD. J's weakness can be his strength too. He is still the same beautiful, amazing, loving child he was before the diagnosis.

The Art of J (Part 1)

Before J was almost 4.5 years old, he was never interested in drawing. He would not even draw a line on a piece of paper. When I passed him a piece of crayon, he would use the crayon to knock on the paper. So the paper ended with lots of dots. Even when I showed him how to draw a line, he would move away from the table and play his "lift" using 4 wooden blocks or his Megablocks or his hard-cover books.

When he reached 4 years old, he would get us to draw "lift" on paper but he still would not be the one holding a crayon to draw.

Until one day in November 2016, almost coming to 4.5 years old, his daddy taught him to draw squares and rectangles as "lift". Then he started to really draw on paper.

Daddy initially taught J how to draw 2 rectangles together.
Later on, J improvised to have the lines on the right.
The lines can be staircase, escalator or up & down buttons.

No! He never draw houses and people and trees or cartoon characters or Superheroes or beautiful skyscrapers, landscapes and buildings but just rectangles, squares and lines.

Drawing of Rectangles

To us, this is a good start. It is something that will help him interpret what is in his mind, at least about lifts.

One of J's earliest drawings
Notice 2 lines at the sides of the lifts?
These are "up" & "down" buttons.

After every drawing of the lifts, he would ask these questions:

1. How many levels are there?
   Answer: (Tell the levels based on his drawing)
2. What is the last level?
   Answer: Sky Garden
3. What is on the door?
   Answer: Advertisement
4. (Repeat Question) What is on the door?
   Answer: Window Pane
   Note: If I still answer "Advertisement", he will ask "Is there Window Pane on the door?"
5. (Pointing to the 1st floor on the drawing) How many buttons are there? (Referring to the buttons outside the lift)
   Answer: 1 button
   Note: If there is a B1, I will have to answer "2 buttons".
6. (Pointing to the last floor on the drawing) How many buttons are there? (Referring to the buttons outside the lift)
   Answer: 1 button

J never fail to ask these questions after each of his drawings. Predictable? Rigidity? Well, this is one of the ASD traits - repeating questions and standard answers. (Till I can even remember).

So long as J saw papers, even rough paper,
he would just take a piece of crayon and draw his "lift".

Recently, J drew "lifts" on his daddy's birthday card. I decided to use sparkling glue to do the outline to enhance the drawing but more so, for J to be exposed that his drawing should not be limited to what he knows now. When I was showing him how to apply the sparkling glue, tracing the outline, he looked so amazed! I could see that amazement in his eyes and he was so excited!

J said we celebrate Daddy's birthday on the 3rd floor.
Hence, the birthday cake on the 3rd floor.

Through this, I guess one of our roles as parents is to just expose our child to different things and let him take his time and lead to be ready to learn new stuff. When he is not ready, there is no way we can force him to take in the new pieces of information but when he is ready, there is no limit to his learning and most importantly, the child never stop to learn and so are we too.

Too Loud!

J has been sensitive to loud sounds that could be sudden or of high pitch. Before August 2016, there were times when I was in the MRT with him and at certain point when the train was in the tunnel, he would frantically scream. No matter how I appeased him, it just does not work.

The turning point came when I attended the course on "Understanding and Accommodating Sensory Needs in Autism" at the Autism Resource Centre. I asked the facilitator why would my child scream in the MRT and he asked me if J would scream throughout the whole train journey or at certain parts of the journey. That was a breakthrough question. J would only scream at certain parts of the journey. That was when I continued my detective work with the clues.

A few days later, we were at Big Box at Jurong East. The shop was playing an instrumental CD that has the violin playing in the background. J was at first in front of me and upon hearing the piece, ran towards me and hide himself. That was when I realised J disliked the high pitch of the violin. And I tried to relate this incident to the MRT.

And true enough, I found out when the screaming would take place - From Outram MRT to Tanjong Pagar MRT. I even hear the screeching part of the tunnel. Whoa! What a major discovery!

With a child on the ASD Spectrum, we are like detectives, searching for clues and making discoveries.

J finds the closing of cable car door too loud.

From then on, I began to understand him better. And I realised how many more loud sounds he could not take - Blender, Toilet Flushing, Washing Machine and I believe as months go by, I would discover more. We have taught him to manage himself by covering his ears or to simply tell us "Too Loud" when he finds anything too loud, to go into the room if I am using the blender and to close the yard door if he finds the washing machine too loud.

J finds the toilet flushing too loud

and he wants to get out of the cubicle.

For a child on the Autism Spectrum Disorder who is sensitive to loud sounds, they may seem overly reacting because for a normal person like us, we are able to manage the sounds. Our body system is able to filter off certain sounds. So there could be times when I might not even hear the sound but to children like J, it could be amplified 100x. Thus, these are actually hurting their ears. And for them to manage themselves, they may choose to scream or sing songs, i.e. using their familiar voices, to cover the sound that cause pain to their ears. These are all part of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).

Just yesterday late afternoon, 25th September 2017, I encountered an incident from a lady at the toilet at One Raffles Quay North Tower.

The entrance to the toilet at One Raffles Quay North Tower.

She was in the 2nd cubicle. I was in the 3rd cubicle. The flush was very fast and it was very loud. Thus causing J to have anxiety. He covered his ears and kept saying very loudly, "Too Loud! Too Loud". And then, he started to scream.

The lady was in the 2nd cubicle. I was in the 3rd cubicle.

And a lady from the 2nd cubicle, scolded in very educated English, "Can you shut up?"

My thoughts:
* This is a young child. You can't expect a child to be quiet at all times.
* J already stated very loudly "Too Loud! Too Loud!". It should have occurred to the lady that this child might be facing some challenges, even if she does not understand anything about ASD or SPD.

Anyway, I replied the lady, "My child has sensory issues." And I hope she would bother to go and understand what sensory issues mean.

In conclusion, people are educated but yet, have no compassion to people around them. I do not expect her to understand anything about ASD or SPD but from all the words that J said in the cubicle beside her, surely anybody should be able to sense some challenges a mum is facing with her child and not merely, thinking that the child is creating havoc.

Homemade Toothpaste

Today, I tried my hands in making a homemade toothpaste. Homemade toothpaste is good because it is chemical-free.

The best part of it is that I did this homemade toothpaste together with J.

Verdict of the toothpaste: J loves the toothpaste because of the Orange flavour. It smells so sweet.

Here are the main ingredients:

Main Ingredients for Homemade Toothpaste.
Added Teatree Essential Oil.

 

- 1/3 cup Coconut Oil
- 1 Tbsp Baking Soda
- 1 Tbsp Bentonite Clay
- 1/4 tsp Stevia
- 1/2 tsp Himalayan Rock Salt
- 10 drops Orange Essential Oil
- 5 drops Peppermint Essential Oil
(Can add more but it might be too spicy for J. Hence, I added 5 drops.)
- 2 drops Teatree Essential Oil
(Can add more but J was not used to the smell.)

1. Combine coconut oil, baking soda, and bentonite clay. Mix thoroughly.
2. Add in the remaining ingredients and mix.
3. Store in a jar or put in a squeezable toothpaste.
   

NOTE: 

When mixing bentonite clay, please use a wood or plastic spoon. Bentonite clay should not come in contact with metal because it deactivates the clay.

This toothpaste isn't meant to be stored long-term, so it is recommended to make small batches frequently.

Father-Son Playtime

On 13th Jun 2017, while I was in church, daddy did something different, in a way to expose J some camping ideas, when he had the green light.

 

"Camping" with a blanket & 2 dining chairs

Daddy just took a blanket and 2 dining chairs. Little J added his favourite pillow and 2 bolsters, to make it more cosy.

Cosy?

I thought this activity was a good idea because it helps imagination and most importantly, interactive attention span.

The downside is, well, when I came back, the whole living room was in a mess! 

Play Skills - Train Tracks

On 5th Jun 2017, as usual, J was playing with his train tracks. But this time, I noticed something different. He not only could connect into sophisticated train tracks now, he was able to combine with another toy structure - car park.

Combine train tracks with carpark

There is a train station at platform level, which the train can stop. There is an wooden block in front of the train, which is the end of track. The train tracks will go underneath the sofa, which is the tunnel.

Train stopping at platform level

I realised J's play skills have moved on to the next level.

I remembered this was an impossible scenario 2.5 years ago. While peers his age already started connecting train tracks, he was busy lining tracks side by side.

This was how J played his train tracks
even when he was 3.5 years old.
He loved to line up the train tracks
into a 4-panel door lifts.

Even for 1st half of last year, he could only move towards connecting 8 train tracks to form a circle. Of course, his daddy and I would model to him how train tracks could be connected together.

To me, this is an incredible achievement. His cognitive abilities have definitely improved. While he was playing the train tracks, there were interaction and laughter. The one thing that never leave his play, is his motivation - the lift.

Looking back, the efforts and time put in to see today's results are all worth it because I know God will eventually heal him. He is improving.

One of Those Days

This afternoon, while I was preparing lunch in the kitchen, J came to me, with a sad face. He pulled my hand. I was washing the rice, half-way. I asked him what I can do for him. He ran out of the kitchen, crying. I immediately stopped what I was doing. And went to him.

I had him sat on my lap so that I could hug him. He was still crying. As I was hugging him, I told him, "I am here. Let me know when you are better."

He cried for a good 20 minutes. Then he said, "I am better."

I still continued to hug him. After 10 minutes have passed. I asked him if he was ready to tell me why he was upset. When he heard this, he continued to cry, for another 15 minutes.

Meltdown

Then he said, "I am better."

I decided not to probe further. I continued hugging him until he smiled at me.

I prepared my lunch. Both of us have our lunch. Then 1 hour later, I asked him why he was upset and cried just now. He said he was upset because he slept on the bed. But i saw him laid on the floor.

In fact, I knew I will not be able to get an answer from him because this requires lots of brain processing power and expressive language, which is still his weakness. But at least he still can label his emotions - whether he is happy, sad or angry.

This is one of those days when J would have meltdowns and we never get to know why. On some days we do know why, if it is a change in some routines or sensory issues beforehand. However, if the meltdown is related to him thinking back some past events that made him sad. That will require detective work.

Through the many years of meltdowns I have experienced with him, I have learnt that the most effective way is when a meltdown occurs, not to keep asking why or even mentioned how much I understand how he felt because that triggers more crying and hence, would prolong the length of meltdowns. But rather, give him a tight hug. Let him know I am here and let me know when he is better. Any post-mortem is to only be done, perhaps few minutes or an hour or two hours after he mentioned that he is better. Sometimes, it might just trigger that sadness and cry again.

Of course, each child is different. Just do what works best for the child but the gist of it is to only ask what happened when he is in a good mood.

I felt, in this way, we respect the child and most importantly, gives the child the time to manage his overwhelming emotions. Even if the child, just like J, is unable to express what causes his emotions, just be there for him and give him a shoulder to cry on and lent him a listening ear.

Lastly, and most importantly, pray with the child. Put his emotions and burdens onto the feet of Jesus. No problem is too big that God cannot solve.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. - Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Evaluation Meeting

On 12th May 2017, we had our second bi-weekly Evaluation Meeting since we started our Son-Rise Program, but it was a first with all our volunteers (as there were 2 volunteers who joined a few weeks later after the first volunteer).

Evaluation Form

We had a wonderful session reviewing and discussing how we can help our little friend. As each of us recalled back the times we had in the playroom, we were laughing especially when we talked about the repetitious activities that J had.

I saw the benefits of having this meeting so that we can all align our beliefs and goals. While we are all working in the playroom individually at different times, this meeting helped to bring in the consistency. As each of us share our different experiences, we are also learning from one another.

My team of volunteers

Certificate of Achievement in Pasting, Folding, Colouring & Cutting

Finally, after a year, we have completed the basic series of Pasting, Folding, Colouring and Cutting. I remembered the first time when we started, J could not control and hold the scissors properly. He could not hold a crayon well. Folding was an issue too.

I could still remember how I guided him step-by-step. Most peers his age, would have been able to hold and control the scissors or even able to colour with colour pencils or for some, even able to write. When I looked back the past 1 year, I could feel that J and I have come a long, long way.

J was doing pasting work

Though there are still more rooms for improvement, J could at least now cut a straight line, hold a crayon to colour and apply some strength when folding the paper. Even when he paste materials, he would at least look out for the sides and try to paste it within the boundary. These are, to me, great achievements. These skills may look insignificant for J's age, who will be turning 5 next month, because most peers his age, would have acquired most of these skills. However, to me, these are little milestones that is worth celebrating.

Today, Daddy presented J with the attached Certificate of
Achievement which is at the back of the book

The most important thing is, J enjoys doing these sit-down work. Of course, I do ensure that he is in Green Light before he does these sit-down work. This explains why even though there are only 39 worksheets, we took a year (365 days) to complete. Because we don't do these everyday and we definitely don't touch these when he is in Red Light. Even when he is in Green Light, most of the time, we do paintings, baking or any pre-writing activities such as playing with pegs, tongs, playdoh, etc. Sit-down work would be of less priority.

Fine Motor Skill: Handling Scissors

Today, I was amazed that J is now able to handle his scissors much better, compared to a year ago. It has been almost a year of fine motor activities, which we have been doing since he was an infant and learning to handle scissors and cutting with the scissors.

The way J handles his scissors, has improved.
He is cutting a paper plate, doing his own artwork.

Despite having tons of fine motor activities, the Occupational Therapist (OT) at his Early Intervention Centre still assessed that his development in this area needs lots of working on.

I am glad that today, I am able to see that my efforts have paid off. Though his holding of the scissors is still not perfect, I believe he will definitely master this skill one day.

If your child is like J, unable to handle the scissors well, do not be disheartened! I know, there are days when even I myself, might succumb to the lies and deception in our head, "My son is coming 5, he still cannot hold the scissors properly. Other kids his age, are already, quite an expert in cutting."

Do not fall to the temptation of comparing with others.

Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won't need to compare himself with someone else. - Galatians 6:4 (TLB)

And that includes us taking care and nurturing our beloved child.

On top of doing the fine motor activities, which is still necessary, you can consider Kumon activity books. But I would think 4 years old is a good age to do these. Before 4 years old, they should focus entirely on fine motor activities. You can read more here.

These workbooks provide step-by-step
activities from Worksheet 1 (Straightforward)
to Worksheet 40 (More Challenging)

I like these activity books because of the step-by-step activities to acquire the skills. For example, in the cutting activity book, it started with practical worksheets on cutting one line, then move on to cut multiple lines, then move on to cut zig-zag lines. and then cut circular lines, etc. I believe the step-by-step practical worksheets help J a fair bit and most importantly, he enjoys the activities.

My belief is still not to overwhelm the child with loads of worksheets to complete in a day. It is still necessary to allocate time for the child to play. Play is still important to the child. It has always been my priority.

One of the activities in the book.
At worksheet 33.
This is already coming towards
the end of the workbook.

Hence, I do not do these activities everyday. But rather, take the child's lead. There might be days when he does not want to do sit-down work. It is alright. We can do another day. Each session is less than 15 minutes. And we usually only complete 2 worksheets in a week, which explains why just 40 worksheets in a workbook but till now, almost a year, we still have not completed the workbook.

Lego Play

Nowadays, J loves to play with his Duplo Lego because he can build a tall building and mimic a lift going up and down in the building.

Photo taken on 22 Mar 2017.
This structure was built by J.
The orange block mimic a
"lift moving up and down".

I still remember how he first played his megablocks almost 3.5 years ago - For 1.5 years, it was just 4 red megablocks and 8 blue megablocks. For 2.5 years, he just did "open and close lift doors" on the 4 red megablocks and 8 blue megablocks, which we never fail to bring these whenever we went out.

We introduced Duplo Lego when J was 2.5 years old but he was not interested at all. He would go back to play with his megablocks.

His 4 red megablocks and blue megablocks.
After 2.5 years of playing megablocks,
he had moved on to include other megablocks in his play.

We have come a long way! Early last year, his dad modeled a HDB building (different structure from the photo) with a "lift" that allowed him to move it up and down. That stirred his interests. His dad even build 5 characters from the Lego and introduced them as characters to stay in the different levels. He did all these for several weeks.

At first, J would scream for us to help him build the structure whenever he wanted to play the "lift" on the Duplo Lego building. Only in recent months this year, that J started to build with his Duplo Lego.

Therefore, to see J, being able to build the Lego block upwards, is a very great achievement and to see him, being able to build buildings in many different styles and patterns, I can't help feeling emotional. It is as if we have won't first prize in a contest!

A Little Appreciation

I am so thankful to have ML as my volunteer. I thank her for being so engaged with J, at every session. I thank her for putting her very best effort to understand what J is talking about, even though the topic or subject he is talking about, might not make sense to her. I thank her for taking her time to be part of J's journey with us.

At such a young age, she chose to volunteer in this Son-Rise Program during the weekends. We are so blessed to have her.

A little appreciation, to give her a pat on the back, after every session in the playroom, I believe will go a long way.

A little appreciation for my volunteer

For they refreshed my spirit and yours also. Such men deserve recognition - 1 Corinthians 16:18 (NIV)

1st Session With 1st Volunteer

Yesterday, 18th Mar 2017, was the first session with our first long-term volunteer, ML. Yesterday, J had lots of red light so ML did lots of joining with him. He had his verbal ism and his stimulus system ism. We are so blessed to have ML as our volunteer because she is teachable and she learns fast. Thank god for her!

ML joining J in his ism "Door Opening, Door Closing"

Today is ML's second session. J had more green light, which could also mean that he is comfortable with her. J enjoyed his playroom session. This is one of the first step working towards his social development. Yippee!

Alphabet Games

Today, in the playroom, J requested to play with alphabets. He loved playing with the alphabet beanbags. I supposed he loves the sensory when he touched those beanbags.

As usual, J arranged the beanbags according to alphabet. As he was given some holiday homework by his EIPIC teacher, I decided to use their material. However, J did not want to do the materials because he could not "feel" the fishes. They are too small. He is supposed to match the fishes onto the alphabets in the material.

Some of the "fishes" are on the left.
J is supposed to match the "fishes" onto the
alphabet in this material.
J find it too small to feel its presence.

Since J loved the alphabet beanbags, I decided to tinge it a little. After J arranged the beanbags according to alphabet, I got him to pick the "fishes" randomly from a container to match to the alphabet beanbags. However, after 4 tries, he did not want to proceed. I could see his little fingers having difficulty holding the "fishes" and the print, perhaps could be too small for him. So I made it into a turn-taking game with 3Es. Woohoo! We successfully finished matching the "fishes" against the alphabet beanbags.

Activities in the Playroom

The next task was to match the "fishes" onto the alphabets in the material. J straightaway rejected doing. I again, made it into a turn-taking game. Yes! We finished matching the alphabets in the materials.

Lastly, before keeping the beanbags into the bag, J picked a beanbag and we will shout out the letters, then keep the beanbags into the bag. I did the same with his cloth number blocks last year. And that was how he mastered his numbers. This is actually one of J's favourite activity.

Well, in building J for his social development, mastering numbers and alphabets are just beside the point. I turned it into a social and interactive activity - turn taking, eye contact and interactive attention span. There were full of celebration for his eye contact, with lots of hi-5s and 3Es. Please note that all these can only be done when J is in green light.

To understand the Son-Rise terminology, refer to the book Autism Breakthrough by Raun K. kaufman. It has many amazing methods to help a child in the Autism Spectrum.

1st Meetup with the Volunteers

Praise the Lord that there are 1 long-term volunteer (approx. 30 months) and another 2 volunteers (about 4 weeks) coming to son-rise J. I still remember during the Son-Rise Startup Program 2016 when we were first introduced the topics of volunteers, I felt that this seems impossible. My thought was "Where do I find people?" And thanks to Embrace Autism, it becomes a reality.

I had my first meeting with all 3 volunteers last Saturday, 11th March 2017. For the past 2 weeks, I have been busy charting J's social development, setting program goals, planning works and doing the powerpoint presentation about J and the important concepts the volunteers need to know, in order to son-rise J.

2 days back, one of my friends asked me what I have been busy with? And I only have 1 child (She did not know J's condition). She said she has 3. And in the past (her children are now in their 20s), she would stay till late to print worksheets for her children and she reminded me she has 3, I only have 1 child. Well, I jokingly told her taking care of my 1 child is equivalent to taking care of her 3 children.

Well, if we look at a childcare centre or a mainstream preschool classroom, it is usually 1 teacher to 6-8 students, which shows if the children are neurotypical, it is still manageable, though I think 1 teacher to 6 students, I find it too many students to a teacher. Whereas for special needs child in EIPIC, it is usually 1 teacher to 1, or maximum 2 students.

As I think back what I have been busy with, I felt like I was back to working days - planning, setting goals and having meetings. Indeed, as a parent, I never expected myself to be doing these. If we look at parents who have neurotypical child, which parents do planning, set goals, chart social development and plan meetings? But I love this. It is definitely different from work because all that I am doing, it's all for my beloved son.

Impromptu Play Together

This morning, I brought J to the playground where there were no little children. It is very stressful for me especially when there are other children and babies around because J loves babies so much that he could unintentionally display his intense energy.

No kids at 10 am in the morning

However, at about 11 am, I saw 2 of my neighbours. Their children have returned from their school. My heart started to panic because I do not how J might respond to them even though he knows who they are and have played with them before when they were younger. When I saw the children (there were 4 of them) running towards our direction, I started to cringe. But I guess my worries were unfounded.

J was happily playing catch with the children. Of course, I do notice that J might be out of the group once in a while, to go and knocked on one of the doors in the preschool nearby, while others continued in their play.

J even asked one friend, S, if he could hold her hands. I was amazed because it took us 1.5 years to teach him to ask this question. In the past, he would grab hold of another child's hand and pulled the child along and ran, whether the other child liked it or not. What he did today calls for a celebration!

There were times when I noticed that even though J wanted to be out of the group sometimes, he would turned back and looked at his friends (Giving Joint Attention) and then joined in the group again. This is another great achievement.

I do also noticed that J looked at his friends, when laughing together. That was non-verbal communication, in which he has shown tremendous improvements too.

Overall, I am amazed that J has done very well in this small little social play and not to forget, this was an impromptu play together. I am overjoyed that he has improved very much. We have come a long, long way but when I saw how J handled himself with the other children, all these are worth it! Praise the Lord that he is improving every day.

J were playing together with his friends

Of course, after J and I went back home for his shower, I praised J for what he had done especially asking permission from another child if he could hold her hand, keeping his hands to himself and playing together with other friends. All these seems a natural thing for a neuro-typical child but for a child in the Autism Spectrum, in order to acquire these skills, it could take months and years of persistence, hope and belief.

Finding the Missing Number Game

OMG... I want to cry. I'm so, so, so excited! J not only interacted with us BUT.. He initiated a game.

YESSS... Today is the day. He has never done this before. He initiated a game - Finding the missing number. He started by arranging the blocks and asking Hubby and I, "What is the missing number?" This calls for a celebration! Yes! A Celebration *Jump Up and Down*... IT IS JUST SO EXCITING!

J was arranging the blocks and asking Hubby and I,
"What is the missing number?"

His idea came from his motivation - LIFT. In some shopping malls, there were missing buttons. That is how he has gotten this idea.

However, this significant milestone "Game Initiation" has come a long, long way....

I remembered back in May 2015 (It was 1 month before he turned 3). He was not receptive to any new learning at all. While other children his age were already into ABCs and 123s, for him, other than the ABC Song, he was totally not interested in "A for Apple, B for Boy", he was only interested in, just looking at lift when we were in any shopping mall or playing "Open and Close lift door" with his 4 red long and 8 blue short megablocks. At that point in time, I was feeling very discouraged. Like any new parent, I was in fact, very worried or rather kiasu, with his academics. In my mind, I was thinking, only the word "DEAD" and "He don't know how to read ABCs and 123s. What if he continued this way when he is 6, 7 or even 10 years old"? Of course, that was before reading the book Autism Breakthrough by Raun K. Kaufman.

I had always read about Montessori Education, which also believe in Child-led learning (Still, I was not totally child-led as you can see from my thoughts above) and after my friend introduced me to the book Autism Breakthrough, my belief in Child-led learning became stronger. I finally understood what his isms meant to J. I changed my belief and perspectives - Be child-led. J will surely not be like this forever. Since he loves lift, let's join him and go into his world - That was my turning point.

Indeed, the knowledge that J has - letters, numbers, counting, colours, signs, vocabulary (types of lifts, panel doors, buttons, etc), language development (he is now into 1 loop conversation from just 2-3 words back in May 2015), interaction when we talked about lifts, eye contact, safety when using lift, taking turns to go in and out of lift - all comes from the one motivation he has - LIFT. And he did not go through any formal learning, e.g. sitting down to learn in a classroom or doing table learning, because he could not sit still due to some sensory issues. He learnt all these through looking at lifts in shopping malls or during our playroom sessions.

The one thing that never fail to amaze me is when we are child-led, let the child be your teacher, let him teach you, learning becomes unlimited. The sky is the limit.

Before I know J's condition, I never know that there are so many things to learn from a lift. The lift is definitely one of the greatest inventions in all mankind. Very soon, this little man will surely learn about history and science (pulleys and axles) of lift. Woohoo! And the tears that I have today is, the tears of Joy...

Epsom Salt Bath (Part 2)

In early January, J had his first Epsom Salt Bath (Refer to my post here). About 2 weeks later in later part of January, hubby remembered that J had a swim tub (Clever Hubby!) that we had bought when he was an infant. He suggested that we can use it for J as the current bath tub is too small for J and J isn't fully soaked in.

And here it is! J enjoyed his Epsom Salt soaking in his swim tub about 2 to 3 times a week.

Enjoying his Epsom Salt Soaking

Not only that, even I can fit into the swim tub (benefits of being small-built) and have a good Epsom Salt soaking. Epsom Salt soaking is not only good just for eliminating toxins and heavy metals said to be high in people in the ASD spectrum, it is also good for adults too.

It helps to relax our body, relieve stress and muscle tension, pains and cramps. Hubby will also soak his tired and sore feet in the tub (He is too big for the tub!). Epsom Salt is also claimed to have anti-fungal and anti-microbial properties.

Thanks to Hubby's clever idea and J's swim tub, the swim tub has not gone to waste and now the whole family can enjoy the Epsom Salt Bath and Soak.

Little Artist @ Work

Today, J got his hands dirty with paints, brushes, sponge and water. This is one of his favourite activity since he was an infant.

Initially, he had wanted to do water colour painting. His painting has always been just colouring and scribbling. He is never interested in painting on objects, except on paper. Even though it is just colouring and scribbling, he is able to interpret what his artwork is about (which is worth celebrating). When he just draws in circles, he could still tell me that he is drawing the MRT Network Line (Now I know in J's mind, our MRT Network is so confusing... lol).



J loves to paint with brushes

After painting with brushes, J would like to get his hands on the paint. Maybe, he loves the sensation of touching the paint. Today, he had his hands printed on papers.

After printing his hands on paper, he showed me his dirty hands

Lastly, J sponge-stamped numbers. There were lots of interaction, initiated by J, when we were doing this activity. When he stamped number '4', he said that he is 4 years old. When he stamped number '5', he said Froggy is 5 years old. When he stamped number '6', he said that his baby is 6 years old.

His painting activities will always end in putting his hands in the water and go round and round, seeing the water changed colours and squeezing the sponge. He hand-painted the wall too. He said, "Today, I am painting my house."

Stamping, sponging and hand painting

Painting is a good sensory activities for children, whether neurotypical or special needs. Painting not only invokes and foster creativity and imagination, they learn a lot about primary and secondary colours and what happen to colours when mixed up, texture of paint, helps in hand-eye coordination, brain or cognitive development and emotional expression. For children on the ASD spectrum, painting can be one form of Art Therapy.

Perhaps the greatest benefit is the fact that painting provides us and our children a great platform to bond and spend valuable time together. Today, it has been an interactive session. The whole activity lasted about an hour and a half. In fact, the activity we had today helps in the development of Interactive Attention Span, which is one of the important goals in the Son-Rise Program® Social Development Model.



Painting on easel on 14 Nov 2016
We created an art corner for J.

Dear parents, I would encourage you to let your little ones paint. Do not be bothered by the outcome of your child's paint works. If getting messy is of your primary concern, do like what I did - I put J in the toilet (My toilet is very airy) and after the paint works, it is toilet washing time.

Most importantly, enjoy the bonding, have fun and invoke interaction by talking about your child's works (Remember, no criticism but PRAISE AND CELEBRATION).

If your child is non-verbal, painting can help to teach new words and even working on eye contact when your child asks you for the colour.

If your child has sensory challenges in touching the paint, do not force the child, help the child to explore and feel the paint. Take a step at a time!

A Pleasant Surprise

It has been a busy period because of the CNY preparations and CNY visits. Hence, I haven't been updating on this blog for almost a month. CNY just ended on Saturday, 11th Feb 2017.

On 6th Feb 2017, I had a pleasant surprise. That day was also J's first time having an almost full day outdoor after weeks of Son-Rise playroom time.

We were at Coffee Bean at East Coast Parkway. J was patting his favourite toy Froggy to sleep. He was on a high chair. He wanted to put Froggy on the pram, which was very, very low. And he said to me, "Mummy, can you push the pram nearer? I can't reach."

OMG! I was simply amazed that he could say such a sentence, so clearly and spontaneously! We had stopped the once-a-month Speech Therapy (ST) in December 2016. So after the Son-Rise Program® Startup that I attended towards the end of November 2016, hubby and I were his Son-Rise Therapist. In the past, if the same would have happened, he might just say "I want the pram", which to us, it is still not fully functional and it is quite robotic because everything will just be "I want...". But instead, on that day, he used such spontaneous sentence. How nice and wonderful to hear it! I can't help wanting to hear it again!

This beautiful sentence, my hubby and I believe, was the result of constant prayers and the changes we had made while doing the Son-Rise Playtime with J.

During the Son-Rise Program® Startup, one of the suggestions was to "Limit Outdoor Activities" for our child and put him in the Son-Rise playroom. We did just that ever since I attended the program.

Benefits of a Son-Rise playroom

For many children in the ASD spectrum, it can be very challenging to filter out external distractions. Thus, limiting their ability to focus on learning and interaction with us. The purpose of the Son-Rise playroom is to make it as easy and enjoyable as possible for the child and the parent to focus on interaction so that both of them are making the most of their time together.

Time and time again people with autism have expressed the great anxiety they feel due to a disorganised sensory system, making seemingly simple things like a trip to the grocery store incredibly overwhelming. So this is an important one: do your best to decrease the sensory overload your child might experience. You can do this by either eliminating/limiting or modifying trips to stimulating environments. For example, don't take your child grocery shopping (or the park, etc.) for now, or take him much less often, or take him only on off hours, when it is much more quiet and less crowded. This is an important time to be an open-minded detective because something that may not seem stimulating to you can be incredibly challenging for your child. - Adapted from the book "Play to Grow" by Tali F.Berman & Abby Rappaport

What I have done

Since the Son-rise program in December 2016, hubby and I had made it a point to limit J's outdoor activities to help him decrease his sensory overload. There were times, before making those decisions, that we weigh the pros and cons. I do felt, for some activities, it seemed a pity that J could not be involved. In the end, for the sake of J, I had to do what I think would benefit J.

• J stopped his once-a-month Speech Therapy (ST). We felt that there is no point in spending 2 hours, rushing and travelling to-and-fro to the ST. While travelling, there will be lots of sensory overload. By the time we reached home, I felt I had run in a marathon. Since J had improved using the Son-Rise technique for speech the past year, we have decided to stop. We are also intending to stop his EIPIC since the Son-Rise Development Model helped J alot.  
• J stopped attending his Thursday Co-op group. (This was a pity because it has all NT children whom he can learn from. But no! He don't learn from them. Unfortunately, it does not come naturally for a child with ASD to learn from others because they focus on objects, instead of learning from others).
• We only go playgrounds during off-hours, with no children or at most 1 child around.
• We go to places that has no crowds.
• We only go nearby places like NTUC and hawker centre (on a weekday morning).
• If the place is crowded, we would just quickly go to the shop that we need to buy our stuff and quickly evacuated from the place.
• We stopped bringing J to church (hopefully it is temporary) for the moment. Hubby and I take turns to go to church each week (We still need to be spiritually fed). Whoever stays home with J will do Son-Rise playtime with him. Even though J is not going to church, we do devotion, Praise & Worship and prayer time with him at home.
• Of course, more Son-Rise playtime with J.

This CNY is also a time when hubby and I decided to adopt some changes, different from what we had done in the past years, in regards to J.

• J only visits his grandparents.
  So, we agreed that for this year, other than the grandparent's house, for any other house visits, hubby and I would go to our own relative's or friend's house. This is so that we can each spend quality social time with our relatives or friends.
  
  In previous years, with J around, we could not even sit down and talk to our respective relatives or friends. We would have to follow J wherever he goes. For kids in the spectrum like J, he is always away from the group. For J, he is obsessed with lifts, so we would follow J to go and see lifts. In the long run, this isn't beneficial for us and it became very frustrating.
  
  There were times J would have sensory overload as he is highly sensitive to sound and he became "not himself" and started hitting and scratching people.


• Get J a room.
  Hubby had his mum prepared a room for J so that he can be away from the crowds if he needed to. Before heading to both of our parent's house, we pre-empted J that there will be a room if he finds the place noisy.
  
  True enough, while at my mother-in-law's place, J was in the room with hubby almost the whole day. There were times he came out of the room. With the noise level and overwhelming human faces, J did start to hit hubby's uncle.
  
  At my parent's house, there were fewer relatives visiting my parents this year. So perhaps it helps.

The Outcome

Hubby and I felt that there has been an improvement in J, ever since we made the changes. The latest achievement was that beautiful sentence "Mummy, can you push the pram nearer? I can't reach."

In the past, while the family was out at any public places on weekends, where it would be very crowded. We found ourselves putting out fires because of the challenging behaviours like hitting, scratching and screaming that J would exhibit, especially in crowded places or places that challenged or over-stimulated his senses.

Even in a typical co-op, I spent huge amount of energy managing behaviours. When just going to church, hubby and I felt like we had run a marathon. In fact, when the child is always on "Fight" mode, it leaves little energy for the parent or child to focus on interaction, learning and other life skills. Plus, these kind of behaviours bring J a lot of negative attention.

However, when I am home alone with J, things seems to be peaceful, even though there were days of meltdowns.

For ourselves, hubby and I each have our own days out with our own friends, without J. When hubby is out, I will be with J at home and hubby will do the same when I am out. We felt happier and fulfilled.

Of course, I pray that the changes that we made will be temporary. Very soon, we will be able to go out anywhere and to church as a family together and enjoy one another's company.

Baking Time!

One of J's favourite activity was to bake. I am glad I had introduced baking to him.

Teacher's Day Gift
Baking Blueberry Cupcakes for his teachers
at his Early Intervention Centre last year

If you google the "Benefits of Baking with Preschool Children", there will be lots of articles on that! But for our child with sensory challenges especially to touch, it is good to expose them to baking. Baking alone encompasses many benefits, in regards to motor skills.

• Hone their fine motor skills - Eye-Hand coordination or even hand strengthening when pressing dough or even squeezing the icing bag.
• Stimulate the senses, feeling the texture of the different ingredients - butter, egg, flour, sugar, etc.
• Bilateral Coordination when rolling the dough, sifting the flour, etc.
• Spatial perception and Organisation Skills, when cutting cookies or sifting the flour into the bowl and not out of the bowl.
• Listening and Understanding Instructions.

Fine motor skills, Bilateral Coordination,
Spatial Awareness, Organisation skills
Listening and Understanding instructions

And there are those benefits pertaining to

• Pre-literacy skills - When we read from the recipe, the child realises those are words. Or even introduction of the different baking accessories.
• Math - Learning the numbers and fraction from the recipe, e.g. three-quarter and counting, e.g. the number of eggs we are going to put. We can even learn about Time while setting the timer - How long is the baking time?
• Social Interaction and Communication - When we talk to our child about the recipe that we are going to bake. Or he might ask questions. We can even talk about where we can sell the cakes, cookies, etc. Invoke some "What-ifs, What happens, What do you think?"
• Science - What happens when the flour, butter and sugar are mixed together?
• Responsibility - Teaching about washing hands before baking, wearing apron and cleaning up.
• Patience - Waiting for the cake to be ready.
• Safety and Danger Awareness - Showing him how hot oven is and why we should not touch the oven.

Teaching about Danger Awareness, Responsibility and Patience

And all these are even enhanced when our child does it with another friend. That will also teach them about turn taking, team work and the list goes on.

Most importantly, Having fun and bonding while baking. I love it!

Of course! There were those initial times when he might have some sensory challenges in touching those ingredients. Well! I believe in exposing him. The thing is, if he insists that he does not want to touch certain ingredients because of some sensory challenges, I would not force him and I will just do it for him. And then, tell him the goodness of how it feels. And try again the next time.

That happened initially, he did not want to touch the flour. I did not force him and I told him how soft flour feels and what flour is used for. I then invited him to try and touch it. There were the first few times when he said "No". I just left it as that and I tried again the next time we do baking. And eventually, he was willing to touch the flour.

The key thing is to be persistent, be loving and understanding and of course, not to be afraid of messiness.